Baeddel

by Wenda Rose

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about

My second album features a more unified, progressive-rock sound, as well as much more personal songwriting, with lyrics based on my own experiences growing up as a transgender woman.

credits

released August 4, 2017

All vocals and instruments by Wenda Rose. Drum loop on "Hall of Shame" courtesy of AIR Music Technology.

Recorded by Wenda Rose at The Mer House, Portland, Oregon, except "Blue Line Shuffle" and "Changeling" recorded by John Lifavi at Piedmont Studio, Montrose, California.

Produced and mixed by Wenda Rose at The Mer House. Mastering by LANDR. Cover art by Wenda Rose.

©2017 Wenda Rose / Lorbha-Forged Music

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about

Wenda Rose Portland, Oregon

Wenda is a singer-songwriter, pianist/keyboardist, and producer who has been playing music her whole life. Originally from Los Angeles, California, she now finds her inspiration in the forests and rivers of the Pacific Northwest.

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Track Name: The Child
Why come ye out so late
Said the knight on the road
I go to meet my god
Said the child as she stood

How will you go by land
Said the knight on the road
With a strong staff in my hand
Said the child as she stood

And she stood, and she stood
And 'twere well she stood
With a strong staff in my hand
Said the child as she stood

How will you go by sea
Said the knight on the road
With a good boat under me
Said the child as she stood

I think I hear a bell
Said the knight on the road
Aye, it's ringin' you to hell
Said the child as she stood

And she stood, and she stood
And 'twere well she stood
Aye, it's ringin' you to hell
Said the child as she stood

And she stood, and she stood
And 'twere well she stood
Aye, it's ringin' you to hell
Said the child as she stood
Track Name: Really Alright
You don't know me
Maybe you think you do but
You only know what you think you see

If I let you in
To my private world
What would you think of me
In my cave of fantasy?

Some people build protection
A strong wall around themselves
To keep their private little elves
Safe and out of harm

But you know that kind of sheltering
Really only keeps them small
It doesn't even work at all

And is a false security
Against the brewing storm

I want you to see the skin of me
But I need security
I am so desperate to be born
I am still so very torn

Because I am frightened now
Living in my thunder cloud
How I want to shout out loud

To let you see
The raw and bleeding me
Laid out for eternity

Someone's got to tell her
She can be heard

Someone's got to tell her
Her fate is secured

Someone's got to love her
Even though she knows

She's just a quiet bird
Not the least absurd

(Beneath it all a sapphire crow
Soaring through the coal black night)

Someone's got to let her know
That she's really alright
Track Name: Blue Line Shuffle
All the places we've been together
The time we spent at each others side
You told me of a train that takes you away
Tried to warn me about a bumpy ride

I never wanted to listen, never wanted to know
I thought we were different, thought we could come back
But before I knew it, we had left the station
By the age-old train on the rusty old track

They said the doors are closing to the street
You'd best stand clear and take a seat
Hold on tight to the handle now
In case you're swept right off your feet

And we'll do the Blue Line shuffle
Come on dance until your feet fall off
It's the Blue Line shuffle
Once you start there ain't no way to stop

Life goes by, just blurred scenery
I can no longer tell your life from mine
Please won't you tell me where we're getting off?
Cause I don't wanna end up at the end of the line

You said the doors are closing to the street
You'd best stand clear and take a seat
Hold on tight to the handle now
In case you're swept right off your feet

And we'll do the Blue Line shuffle
Come on dance until your feet fall off
It's the Blue Line shuffle
Once you start there ain't no way to stop

But if I pull that handle and the wheels squeal
I beg, I cry to your ideal
This time it's you who broke the deal
I'm on the platform in the falling rain
You stop, you turn, but you remain
Your words call out from on the train

I said the doors are closing to the street
You'd best stand clear and take a seat
Hold on tight to the handle now
In case you're knocked right off your feet

And you'll do the Blue Line shuffle
You'll be dancin' 'til your feet fall off
It's the Blue Line shuffle
Once you start, there ain't no way to stop
Once you start, there ain't no way to stop
Once you start, there ain't no way to stop
Track Name: Devil's Heaven, Angel's Hell
Here I sit in a devil's heaven
Beholden dreams of the angels' hell
Take me down where the land is riven
Hold me down in the river's swell

Fire burning feed my yearning
Nothing flowing where I'm going
Fire burning feed my yearning
Nothing flowing where I'm going

Fill me up with your poison waters
Make me treasure the barren earth
Turn me from the forest's daughters
Tell me what I'm really worth

Fire burning feed my yearning
Nothing flowing where I'm going
Fire burning feed my yearning
Nothing flowing where I'm going

Let me be the fire that burns
The only one that ever returns

Let me be the river's end
The only one you'd ever defend

Fire burning feed my yearning
River flowing where I'm going
Fire burning feed my yearning
River flowing where I'm going now
Track Name: Chessmen (Together Again)
This all was fun then
When you walked among them
Like two children playing
You know what I'm saying
Some part of our minds said
"We shouldn't do this"
But we followed white rabbits
Got into bad habits
And all of the joy seemed
To die that day

'Cause with bishops and pawns
Singing silly love songs
If your heart's in a castle
While your soul carries on
Then all the king's chessmen
And all the king's knights
Cannot put this heartbreak
Together again

Together again
Together again
All the king's chessmen
And all the king's knights
They can't put this heartbreak
Together again

If I'm not the one for you
Even though I adore you
Then fearing the rover
You'll try to start over
But I saw you walking
Alone with your ex
Now alarm bells are ringing
The birds and bees stinging
And you've got me singing
The bus window blues

'Cause with bishops and pawns
Singing silly love songs
If your heart's in a castle
While your soul carries on
Then all the king's chessmen
And all the king's knights
Cannot put this heartbreak
Together again

Together again
Together again
All the king's chessmen
And all the king's knights
They can't put this heartbreak
Together again
Track Name: Baeddel Suite: II - Changeling
What is this city of roses
I find myself in?
Sent from heaven above
Or created within?

A state so long in desire
I forgot what it meant
A fate not once understood
But yearned for and dreamt

Have you ever seen yourself changed?
A body rearranged
Dream to one, nightmare to another
Yet a different person to none but you

So you carried me to the gate
Kept my body alive
Till I woke up to the light
Ready to fly

Now who shall you become
Whom shall you be?
Is there a place for you now
Or do you only sleep?

Have you ever seen yourself changed?
A body rearranged
Dream to one, nightmare to another
Yet a different person to none but you

Should I weep for you now?
Would you want me to?
Did you give willingly or was it just
What you had to do?
Track Name: Baeddel Suite: III - Baeddel
A day spent in the sunshine
A night spent in the rain
Warm rays over wild pines
Cold drops fall in pain

Will you follow nightmares
Walk in fire and ice
Hold on to your own cares
Gripped inside a vise

Do not talk to strangers
They're sure to take your life
Ride out through the danger
Hide out from the strife

This could only be...
Your hell
You could only be...
Baeddel

Hold out for our sundered souls
Build bodies piece by piece
Skies color of blackened coals
Lilith's brood released

This could only be...
Our hell
We could only be...
Baeddel
Track Name: Hall of Shame
Welcome friend to the hall of shame
Let me take you on a tour
I want you to meet the women like us
That you claim to know so well

Michelle wakes up at 5 a.m.
Drives down to the west side
Stops for coffee on the way
She thinks she'll be okay

Next thing she knows, she's shown the door
They tell her a pack of lies
Say "Go on back where you belong,
Don't wanna see you 'round no more"

Sister, have you drifted so far
That it seems on par
To throw those you don't like
Right under the bus?
For these are the women like us

Vanessa's out in the freezing cold
Short skirt and four-inch heels
She's got dreams of being a model
Or an actress on the stage

She's a different girl by day or night
When the sun is high she pretends
When the moon is out she takes her place
wishes someone gave a damn

For now she sells her body on the street
Counting days until she goes
Far away to a surgeon in Thailand
Maybe they can set her right

Sister, have you drifted so far
That it seems on par
To throw those you don't like
Right under the bus?
For these are the women like us

Roxanne rides the number four bus
She didn't get time to shave
She couldn't get her makeup right
Wonders if she's gonna pass today

Her boyfriend meets her at the bar
A strapping man with a tattooed chest
His door is open wider than his heart
"Honey, come home with me tonight"

Her love is blooming and the mood seems right
But she never mentioned her past life
Do men ever think when passions are high?
Will she even make tomorrow's news?

Sister, have you drifted so far
That it seems on par
To throw those you don't like
Right under the bus?
For these are the women like us

So when you say I'm not a woman like you
Perhaps you may be right
We need not be the same to unite
Please take my hand...

And let the healing begin
Track Name: Sheep in Wolf's Clothing
How do I explain
The only thing I've ever known
I'm not trying to deceive you
Just don't want to be alone

I know you won't believe me
Please just listen anyway
To my plea that you'll consider
I might mean what I say

I'm a sheep in wolf's clothing
It's a thought I always dread
A sheep in wolf's clothing
A skin I cannot shed
A sheep in wolf's clothing
Oh what do I have to do
To prove I pose no threat to you

How do I explain
The danger that I face
Just to sing this song before you
Yes, I know it's not my place

I'm not asking for your blessing
Just to see you eye to eye
This is who I am
It's my truth I cannot lie

I'm a sheep in wolf's clothing
It's a thought I always dread
A sheep in wolf's clothing
A skin I cannot shed
A sheep in wolf's clothing
Oh what do I have to do
To prove I pose no threat to you

They didn't make me this way
To rub it in your face
In fact they
Didn't make me at all

I made myself, you know
Just like you say we can
I still believe we can
I still believe we can

I'm a sheep in wolf's clothing
It's a thought I always dread
A sheep in wolf's clothing
A skin I cannot shed
A sheep in wolf's clothing
Oh what do I have to do
To prove I pose no threat to you

I'm a sheep in wolf's clothing
It's a thought I always dread
A sheep in wolf's clothing
A skin I cannot shed
A sheep in wolf's clothing
Oh what do I have to do
To prove I pose no threat to you
Track Name: I Am Woman
I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back and pretend

Cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again

Yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I've gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong
I am invincible
I am woman

You can bend but never break me
Cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal

And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
Cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

Yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I've gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong
I am invincible
I am woman

I am woman, watch me grow
See me standing toe to toe
As I spread my loving arms across the land

But I'm still an embryo
With a long long way to go
Until I make my brother understand

Yes, I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I've gained
If I have to, I can face anything
I am strong
I am invincible
I am woman
Track Name: Sirens in the Rain
Sirens are wailing
Doppler shifted red and blue
Ambulances trailing

A boy's life is bleeding
Drove his car into the river
Don't know what he is needing

After all the laughter and tears
After all the promises and pain
After all you were and forever are
Does it all just come down
To sirens in the rain

A mother is crying
Unnecessary suicide
Her son is dying

His soul is leaving
Ambulance pulling away
A family is grieving

After all the laughter and tears
After all the promises and pain
After all you were and forever are
Does it all just come down
To sirens in the rain

Why, why, why
Why, why, why
Why, why, why
Was nobody there
Did nobody say
Did nobody tell him
It gets better
It gets better
Yeah, yeah, it gets better